The Colonel Redux

So.

I was going to go on and on and on and on and on about Ms Ann Coulter and her new book and her comments about some 9/11 widows and plagiarism and her latest cooky antics, but I found this instead. So have fun.



So.



And then, I thought, those goofy cats in North Korea are sure being goofy lately. Look to the left for fun and excitement in North Korea. Kim Jong Il, my fave-o-rite tinpot dictator, sure loves to stir the pot, doesn't he. Timing is Everything for Kim. RIMPAC is going on. Iran and Iraq and Ms Ann Coulter are stealing all the headlines. So how does an ego as large as Kim's grab the home page at CNN.com...? Why not a July 4th blowout sale and demo for his customers? Yay, Kim. Thanks for the sleepless nights and sweaty flashbacks of '80's nuke paranoia, buddy.



And then I found something that really got my dandruff in a huff. Jumping Jesus on a trampoline, man. The Colonel has been re-done. Updated. Re-imagined. Molested. Its the freakin Colonel. And the brain-trust at KFC has re-made him. Again. Ah, the humanity.

This is the Colonel as I like to remember him... On the bucket...



Struttin' with the ladies...



And there have been changes over the years. Oh, yes, there have been changes.



They bugged me a little, but not much. The Colonel was still the Colonel. A cool old guy in a cool suit with cool glasses.


But... Look at this thing. Look at it. Shit. Now he's some kinda hipster with a Van Dyke beard, like all the other hipsters with Van Dyke beards. After a hard day of choking chickens and brewing up the seven herbs and spices, the old Colonel would go struttin' with the ladies (see above...). This new Colonel, he looks like he's going to head over to a Starbucks, get a decaf double latte short and listen to Anderson Coopers I-tune picks on his U2 Ipod while driving his economical and environmentally friendly SUV. No struttin' with the ladies for this Colonel. No way. He's much to busy and hip for that. He's got emotions to emote. Shit.

What's next? A Ronald McDonald that doesn't make Trace Hilderley scream like a banshee and run hiding?

Where's the fun going? Where?

And now a France/Italy World Cup final? Where's the Germany/Portugal final I was counting on to make Roy and Melanie very uncomfortable?

As a very wise and humble man once said, 'nuff said.