Strange Rumblings From Mel's Mouth

Ahhh, Mel, now you really have gone and done it, haven't you...



I've always thought you were a little nuts, a wee conservative, a raging homophobe and a bit of a pooh-head, but Jumpin Jesus on a trampoline, Mel, you have really done it now.
Don't worry about your career, though. Polanski drugged and raped a thirteen-year old and still makes films and wins awards. Heck, he won an Oscar. He lives in France, now.

But let's take a look at the long road to now, Mel, with some of my fave-o-rite Mad Mel moments...

Let's start here, with your lovely wife... Febuary 10th, 2004 it was reported you said, “Put it this way. My wife is a saint. She’s a much better person than I am. Honestly. She’s, like, Episcopalian, Church of England. She prays, she believes in God, she knows Jesus, she believes in that stuff. And it’s just not fair if she doesn’t make it, she’s better than I am. But that is a pronouncement from the chair. I go with it.” Buddy, is your wife really going to hell for not believing in the same things as you do? Maybe its a joke, an inside joke between you and your kin. I don't know. Could be, I guess. Not a very funny joke, but, hey, maybe that's a thing with you crazy kids.

Okay, where to now...? How about critics... In your Playboy interview you said of an author of an unauthorized biography, "I don't think God will put him in my path. He deserves death." Or this one... After Frank Rich of The New York Times wrote of his concern that the Passion of the Christ could inflame antisemitism, you told The New Yorker, "I want to kill him. I want his intestines on a stick. I want to kill his dog." Fun stuff. Fun stuff, indeed. Wow. His dog?
Its interesting how, you make a movie about a guy who got nailed to a cross for saying things about forgivness and compassion and then you say you want to kill some other guy and his dog... Interesting, indeed.

Oh, where oh where on the Mel path shall we stop next? Hey, homophobia. One time, for the Spanish magazine El Pais you were asked what you thought of gay people and you replied, and I quote, "They take it up the ass... This is only for taking a shit." Someone's never gone ass to mouth. When the dude interviewing you brought up that you had previously had espressed fear that people would think you were gay because you're an actor, you replied, "Do I sound like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them? I think not." Hmmm...



Yipes.

Hey, buddy, we're at the Now point on the road. Oh, boy. Where, oh where did you get these anti-Semetic ideas from, Mel? Let us now look at the other loonie in your family. Sorry to get personal here, but, dude your dad is kinda hateful and a whole lot of crazy.

Your poppa claims that he won between $20,000 and $25,000 on Jeopardy during the Art Fleming version of the show and used that winfall to move you and your family to Australia. Now, I don't want to nit pick, but the highest winner on the Art Fleming version of Jeopardy was Burns Cameron and he won $11,110 in 1964. Was your dada on Jeopardy? We'll never really know, due their being no surviving footage from that era. Too bad. But that's neither here nor there, is it...

So Mr. Hutton Gibson thinks the Holocust is "...maybe not all fiction — but most of it is..." And he believes that the Second Vatican Council was the result of a secret anti-Catholic plot orchestrated by both Masons and Jews. And that the Jews want to take over the world and establish a one-world government and a one-world religion.

And you defend your pop. Of course you do, he's blood. He may be crazy and hateful but, he's blood, he's family, and the man that doesn't defend his family is a weak man. So, how did you defend him? Did you say, hey - look over there, its the First Freakin Amendment, free speech, bitches. Or did you say, a person can believe in anything they want, we live in a free country? Oh. You didn't? I mean, those aren't the best arguments for Hutton's kind of crazy and his hate is pretty well inexcuseable, so, Mel, what did you say in defense of your daddy? "The man never lied to me in his life..." Leapin Lizards, man. Wow. You believe this shite? Bouncin Buddah in a waterpark.

So, Mel, here we are. You go out for a shinding, a real roll off the old sober wagon, a tequila meet and greet.



The hazy memories of a Toronto night in 1984 haunting you.



Thinking to yourself, everyone loves me, why don't I like me? Maybe a ride on the Pacific Coast Highway will clear the head. Little chance of rear-ending a Canadian there.



Oops.
In your rearview mirror, Mel, what did you see? Me, I probably would have seen a big, fat, giant mistake that I am personally responsible for. Thank Jehova the police have stopped you before you could rear-end someone and ruin their day, eh, my friend.

Why the Jews, Mel? They haven't faced enough hatred and persecution in the last couple of thousand years? I mean, really, you could direct your hate to someone who really deserves it, like those perfume spraying freaks in department stores. Or those idiots that package batteries, do they have to be impossible to get into.

Or yourself.



But you have your defenders, buddy. From the Kavkaz Center: "Mel Gibson is telling the truth when he said to a Los Angeles County Sheriff July 29, 2006 that "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world" during the early morning hours of July 28 near his home in Malibu, California. God bless Mel Gibson for his courage!" And there's more..."Mr. Gibson, producer and director of the highly successful film "The Passion of the Christ", has again provided a great service to the world by utilizing his celebrity status in stating a truth that most ordinary gentiles are afraid to say. Mel Gibson is now being crucified, as was done during the production of his film on Jesus Christ, for saying a very inconvenient truth about world Jewry..."

You can read it here, Mel.

With friends like these... You know the rest, I'm sure.

And on top of everything, you made Deuce Bigelow cry. Nice going, big guy.



Take care, Mel. Get some help. Get healthy. And maybe, just maybe, lay off the nailing to the cross part of the Jesus story and work on the other bits. Those are the ones about compassion. And loving your neighbor. And the other wimpy bits. I'm just saying, that's all...

P.S.

Here be some great quotes by some athiests.

'nuff said.